What is your favorite type of car/truck etc....?

Not looking to start a war but I am a dedicated ford man and found awesome Chevy jokes



Q: How do you double the value of a Chevy?
A: Put gas in it.

Q: How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?
A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

Q: Why are there sidewalks beside streets?
A: So Chevy owners have a safe place to walk home.

Q: How much wood could a GM truck haul if a GM truck could haul wood?
A: As much as the Ford towing it.

Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a Tampon?
A. A tampon comes with its own tow rope

Q. Why do Chevys have magnetized bumpers
A. To pick up the parts that fall off other Chevys

Q. How do you make a Chevy accelerate 0-60 mph in less than 15 seconds? 
A. Push it off a cliff. 

Q. What is found on the last two pages of every Chevy's owners manual? 
A. The bus schedule. 

Q. What did the auto parts counterman say when the customer said, "I'll take a set
of wiper blades for my Chevy"? 
A. Sounds like a fair trade. 

Q. What do you call a Chevy at the top of a hill? 
A. A miracle? 

Q. What do you call two Chevy's at the top of a hill? 
A. A mirage. 

Q. What do you call a Chevy with brakes? 
A. Customized. 

Q. How do you make a Chevy go faster down hill? 
A. Turn the engine off. 

Q. Why don't Chevy's sustain much damage in front end collisions? 
A. The tow truck takes most of the impact. 

Q. What do you call Chevy passengers? 
A. Shock absorbers. 

Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy? 
A. Park it between two Fords 

Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a shopping cart?
A. A shopping cart is easier to push.

Q. Why did GM put heaters in the tailgates of their new trucks?
A. To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop

Q. Why are the new GM trucks more aerodynamic?
A. So they will save the Fords gas when the Ford tows them away.

Q. What did the Ford say to the Chevy?
A. Would you like a tow home?

Q. How can they improve the new Chevy truck?
A. Put a Ford engine in it.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To push his chevy into the shop

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because his silverado got stuck.

Q. Why are the Chevy dealerships giving away a dog with every purchase
A. So the owners have someone to walk home with.

CHEVROLET= Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques 

CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips. 

CHEVROLET= Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time. 

CHEVROLET= Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time. 

CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks, Engine Ticks. 

CHEVROLET= Cheap Heavy Equipment, Very Rusty, Overly Loved, Eventually
Towed 

CHEVY= Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet 

GMC= Garage Man's Companion 

GMC= Gotta Mechanic Coming 

GMC= Gay Mans Chariot 

GM= General Mistake 

GM= Glued Metal 

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get
in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man
said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept
her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me
and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look
daddy, YOU bought the Chevy, YOU ride in it!!!"

Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
If it wasn't for our Chevy's,
our tools would rust.

Buy a Chevy and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the rest.

I could never keep a Chevy under me, I was always under the Chevy.

Speed Kills, Drive a chevy and live forever.

You can Ford a stream, you can Dodge a stream, but a Chevy will sit and rust in a
stream.

A Texan was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he had, how
many women he had been with and how much land he owned. A young man,
growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan, "Just how much land do
you actually own"? The Texan tipped back his cowboy hat and said to the young
man " Well sonny let me put it to ya like this, I can get in my pickup at sunrise, drive
all day long, skip lunch and still not get to the other side of my property by
sundown". The young man shot back quickly, " Oh yeah, I know what you mean, I
used to own a Chevy truck too"!

From the past 10 years, about 95% of Chevy trucks are still on the road. The rest
made it home.

Have you seen the new speed limit signs? They say "Speed limit 65, Chevys-do the
best you can"

Thats not a leak, my Chevy's just marking its territory

Here I sit brokenhearted
Wishing that my Chevy started
But it didn't so thats a wrap
I think I'll shoot this piece of crap

"Chevy, built like a rock and runs like one too." 

CHEVY AND GM RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It all depends on the years of the vehicles for me. I've owned many different trucks and they all had their good and bad points, though Dodges seemed to have more bad in the 70s-90s. for older trucks I think Ford and GM are pretty equal. In the late 80s to early 90s I personally liked GM. Modern trucks, I wouldn't touch anything but a Toyota.

Here is an example of why I like some models and not others. Take 2 trucks I owned of the same year. 94 S10 Blazer and 94 Ranger. The Blazer radio wiring would have gray(+) and gray with a black stripe(-) for one speaker channel. The Ranger would have for one speaker channel pink(+) and green(-). I know the radio wiring isn't really important, but it shows the logic behind building the vehicle. If I'm going to work on it, I want it to be as easy as it can be and logical. Thpoug most modern vehicles are built to be a mystery so it requires a "tech", no longer a mechanic, at the stealership to fix it.

Rant over, haha.

o my god you are awsome im going to print this. THANK YOU

canadianromper wrote:

o my god you are awsome im going to print this. THANK YOU

glad i could help

I've always liked fords, until I got my Jeep. A Jeep changes ya. I bought a 93 Cutlass Ciera as a beater afew years back and was surprised & impressed. Other than that, GM's past about 1971 have never really impressed me.

GM CHEVS AND DODGE SUCK! GO FORD

I have owned them all, and the best (as in, it hasn't cost me an arm and leg to maintain) so far has been my old Dakota with a 3.9 and manual trans. I have kept this one as a backup truck for chasing parts and find that I use it more than my other vehicles combined.

dked41 wrote:

I have owned them all, and the best (as in, it hasn't cost me an arm and leg to maintain) so far has been my old Dakota with a 3.9 and manual trans. I have kept this one as a backup truck for chasing parts and find that I use it more than my other vehicles combined.

Sounds like me, up until the last month or two. My Jeep saw more miles than any of the other vehicles we own.

canadianromper wrote:

GM CHEVS AND DODGE SUCK! GO FORD

lets hear you chirp companies when youre actually old enough to drive there bud

Jordan wrote:

canadianromper wrote:

GM CHEVS AND DODGE SUCK! GO FORD

lets hear you chirp companies when youre actually old enough to drive there bud

Seriously, I've probably junked more cars than you've driven.

dagr8tim wrote:

Jordan wrote:

canadianromper wrote:

GM CHEVS AND DODGE SUCK! GO FORD

lets hear you chirp companies when youre actually old enough to drive there bud

Seriously, I've probably junked more cars than you've driven.

ok thats great i never said ive driven or even owned everything out there i just hate hearing people that have never been behind the wheel talk shit when they dont even know anything about those other companies

dagr8tim wrote:

Jordan wrote:

canadianromper wrote:

GM CHEVS AND DODGE SUCK! GO FORD

lets hear you chirp companies when youre actually old enough to drive there bud

Seriously, I've probably junked more cars than you've driven.

ha ha i can agree with that bc i dont have a licence but i still can drive. i work on a farm all summer long and every weekend i can witch is pretty much every weekend and there isnt anything i can`t drive. other than planes and that stuff but i dont care dont need a plane ha ha.

im only 21 but ive had over 25 vehicles dodge chevy ford honda toyota nissan pontiac they all have problems at one time lol
ive had a 94 f150 300 6cyl tough as heck but rusted out had a chevy ticked like heck lol had a toyota run forever but frame fell apart lol
in my eyes the old/classics are the best built there easy to fix and good looking lol

gearheadmike wrote:

im only 21 but ive had over 25 vehicles dodge chevy ford honda toyota nissan pontiac they all have problems at one time lol
ive had a 94 f150 300 6cyl tough as heck but rusted out had a chevy ticked like heck lol had a toyota run forever but frame fell apart lol
in my eyes the old/classics are the best built there easy to fix and good looking lol

I have to agree with you, But its hard to find parts when you are going to fix them(if you talking about trucks that are 30 years old)

Thats why My father keeps trying to get me to buy a new one, He expects you can get a 15 year old truck for nothing but he expects a 10 year old truck is worth its weight in gold... He also thinks that imports are junk because they aren't made in North America. What I want is an Import Truck thats about 15 years old and he thinks im high or something so I wont be getting a vehicle for another 5-8 years.

W1ldyOvvnZ wrote:

gearheadmike wrote:

im only 21 but ive had over 25 vehicles dodge chevy ford honda toyota nissan pontiac they all have problems at one time lol
ive had a 94 f150 300 6cyl tough as heck but rusted out had a chevy ticked like heck lol had a toyota run forever but frame fell apart lol
in my eyes the old/classics are the best built there easy to fix and good looking lol

I have to agree with you, But its hard to find parts when you are going to fix them(if you talking about trucks that are 30 years old)

Thats why My father keeps trying to get me to buy a new one, He expects you can get a 15 year old truck for nothing but he expects a 10 year old truck is worth its weight in gold... He also thinks that imports are junk because they aren't made in North America. What I want is an Import Truck thats about 15 years old and he thinks im high or something so I wont be getting a vehicle for another 5-8 years.

I wouldn't mind find a little solid axle yota truck to play with.

dagr8tim wrote:

W1ldyOvvnZ wrote:

gearheadmike wrote:

im only 21 but ive had over 25 vehicles dodge chevy ford honda toyota nissan pontiac they all have problems at one time lol
ive had a 94 f150 300 6cyl tough as heck but rusted out had a chevy ticked like heck lol had a toyota run forever but frame fell apart lol
in my eyes the old/classics are the best built there easy to fix and good looking lol

I have to agree with you, But its hard to find parts when you are going to fix them(if you talking about trucks that are 30 years old)

Thats why My father keeps trying to get me to buy a new one, He expects you can get a 15 year old truck for nothing but he expects a 10 year old truck is worth its weight in gold... He also thinks that imports are junk because they aren't made in North America. What I want is an Import Truck thats about 15 years old and he thinks im high or something so I wont be getting a vehicle for another 5-8 years.

I wouldn't mind find a little solid axle yota truck to play with.

That's exactly what I'm looking for My father thinks Imports are all about fuel efficiency and that the parts are really weak...

yea i like stuff built in the usa but when it comes down to it u see alot more toyota/nissan trucks with over 250k miles still running with original drivtrains lol

gearheadmike wrote:

yea i like stuff built in the usa but when it comes down to it u see alot more toyota/nissan trucks with over 250k miles still running with original drivtrains lol

FWIW, 300,000 in my Jeep with the original drivetrain and it's never been opened. The 300 I6's that Ford used would go 300K if you kept oil in them.

yea i had a 94 ford 300 6cyl tough as nails best ford motor i like.

My Fathers Jeep has 300Miles on his Motor and Transmission(both haven't been touched other then Plugs at 50KMiles and Oil every 6000-8000Miles), Its been beaten its hole life since it left the Dealership. The Radio only works when you go over bumps, you need to have it in reverse to start it, the rim is bent, it has carpets as floors, The drivers seat is sitting on a 15degree angle towards the center of the vehicle, The window is cracked, it has holes in the frame, the muffler is hanging with some 0.35 welding wire, no windows go down, there is no fender flares, you have to lift the door up and shut it or else it wont close, there is no rockers, when you go past around 72MPH all the lights turn off, The speakers fall out after you hit big bumps, the rear trunk doesn't open all then time and when it does it doesn't stay up nor does it close. Yet this truck passes E-tests in Ontario with flying colours:D My Father has been saying hes going to get a new truck this winter but he said that last time when the brakes locked up when he was driving home. I personally think Jeeps are the toughest American Made Vehicles. My Dad told my brother to get a Jeep then got mad at him because he had to listen to my brother tell him how bad on gas it was(Im pretty sure it was a 5.9L...) and my Dad was saying they were the best on gas(Compared to a 3/4Ton Suburban).

ell im only 15, but i have loads of driving experience. i raced gocarts at 10, and now bando's. i have beed a ford man since i was ld enough to read. iv driven a 1975 f150 coustom, very nice. 05 f-250, had the same problems as 1puglife had in big dirty, over heating. it would only over heat on cruse control, then there is my favorite truck, F-350 with the v10 6.8L gas engine. my father drove it from orlando florida with a cadie inside a enclosed trailer on top of a big 3 car hauler, at the top of the trailer was a flatbed with 2 uck boxes and at the end a 03' f250. all in all, it was ateast 20,000lbs. he said he had no problems until the trailer got hung up and the truck would only spin. i only drove one dodge and i never want to again. 2012 dodge hemi long horn laremie 1500. that truck was so heavy and gut-less it got stuck in surface mud. now the only chevy i remember was one hauling 15,000lbs from flordia to alantic canada and it was 6000 rpm up every hill. then last but not least, 2009 chevy silverodo, thing was a lemon from the factory. if it wasent one ting it was a other, crockd stickers, bad engine, leaking rear-end... im staying with ford for ever, my dream truck is a 1985 F-350 with a 454 big block, 4 door and 8 foot box, duley aswell. its sitting out back

Ford with a 454? Do you mean 460, or are you dreaming of a chevy powered ford. You wouldn't be the first.

gearheadmike wrote:

yea i had a 94 ford 300 6cyl tough as nails best ford motor i like.

that is what mine is.

My favorite car of all time is the 1970 Dodge Super Bee. :-)